


Ten Days of Atonement

by enkelimagnus



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Forgiveness, High Holy Days, Mentions of 1x04 Raising Hell, Mentions of 2x09 Bound By Blood, Mentions of 2x17 A Dark Reflection, Mentions of 3x13 Beati Bellicosi, Mentions of 3x15 To The Night Children, Mentions of Catarina Loss and Madzie, Mentions of Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood - Freeform, Mentions of past Simon Lewis/Maia Roberts, Post-Canon, Rosh HaShana | Jewish New Year, Ten Days of Atonement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-01 11:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20814719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkelimagnus/pseuds/enkelimagnus
Summary: It's the High Holy Days and Simon's decision to finally atone for something he's done against Maia leads to many other atonements and apologies from the rest of the characters.-------A compilation of ficlets, in which a character apologizes for a way they have wronged someone else.





	1. Simon - Remember Who You Are

Taki’s Dinner was full of customers when Simon walked in that morning. It had been open for over a year now, and it was proving to be the perfect Shadow World gathering place that Maia had originally wanted to build. Simon was proud of her, without a doubt.

He didn’t come to eat though, he came for a much more difficult exercise. Atoning, and asking for forgiveness.

It was time for the High Holy Days again, and it was time for Simon to do what he needed to do, and atone. He had been a self-righteous jerk, and he’d been mistaken.

He didn’t know exactly why he’d been so quick to side against her. Maybe it was the flirting situation he’d had going on with Izzy, that had pushed him to side with the Clave over Maia. Maybe it had been guilt, guilt over the hurt he’d caused, guilt and shame over his own actions that had pushed him to shame and guilt Maia for her own.

She stood behind the counter, next to the door to the kitchen. She had that little pout, the one that meant she was focused on numbers and calculations and work. She’d gotten her degree recently. Simon was proud of her.

"Hey," he spoke out, and she looked up. Her focused pout turned into a relaxed smile.

"Well isn’t that our resident graphic novel author. We have a celebrity amongst us."

Simon waved the compliment off lightly. "Oh please, I’m only there as Simon Lewis, no need to unfurl the red carpet."

Maia chuckled and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. "So what brings you here? O neg?" She asked.

Simon shook his head. "No, no, actually. I’m here to talk to you. Is there somewhere we can talk alone?"

Maia raised an eyebrow, her face getting more serious. She nodded and guided him into the kitchen, crossing it from the side and into a back room. Simon remembered this place. He’d been held upside down in there.

The door closed behind them and Maia turned to him. "What’s going on?"

Simon swallowed. It was such a complicated talk. "I... So you know, it’s the High Holy Days right?"

"Yeah. I texted you Shanah Tovah yesterday."

Simon nodded. "Right right... Part of the deal, is atoning for the bad things I’ve done. I should have done that last year, because it happened last year. I chickened out. Found excuses. But, I can’t run away from it anymore. And it’s not just... me doing this because of religion, and because I need to follow the rules, it’s mostly me doing this because I feel like shit, and doing it right now feels especially right?"

Maia waited for him to take his breath again. He did, even if he technically didn’t need to, since he was a vampire. He could go on rambling for hours without needing to take another breath.

"I’m sorry," Simon said.

"For what?" Maia’s voice was a bit cold, and her expression unreadable. She watched him closely.

"For siding with the Clave over you. For being so weirdly cheerful when you broke up with me. For walking over everything there was, the kinship, the comfort, between us because I felt too guilty, or because I wanted to be on Izzy’s side."

Maia still watched him.

"The system, it has always failed us. I know why you went after Heidi the way you did. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I shouldn’t have said you should trust the Clave, when the Clave didn’t care, and still has some trouble caring sometimes."

Maia nodded quietly, exhaling. "I’ve thought about it many times. About what you said, about the way you looked at me, like a traitor, like a criminal," she explained. "I guess it helped me get over you in a way. I thought... "I was wrong, and there is something actually fundamentally different between us.""

Simon swallowed. "I’m so sorry."

Maia sighed. "Thank you for apologizing. Thank you for not pushing this away and acting as if it hasn’t happened."

"I should have done this sooner."

Maia nodded. "Yes. You should. But at least you did it."

Simon felt like saying that it wasn’t enough, but he didn’t. It wasn’t up to him. Atoning was a two-way street. He needed to have her forgive him.

Maia watched him. "The system is changing. And you’re part of that change, working so close to the Clave. You’re doing your part so we, the Downworld, can trust the system next time something like this happened."

"Your forgiveness is what I need."

Maia hummed. "I think I forgave you a while ago. You were... young, and stupid, and getting involved with another girl, and you made some pretty... hurtful mistakes. But it’s not something unforgivable."

Simon sighed softly. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Maia took a step forward. "Come here." She opened her eyes and he crossed the rest of the way.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "I’m sorry."

"I know," she whispered back. "It’s alright. You’re forgiven. Just never do something like this again. Remember who you are. You’re a vampire. You’re a Downworlder. Not a Shadowhunter. Remember it, because they always will."


	2. Maia - Innocent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Simon's apology, Maia finds Clary and apologizes.

"And with that, the New York Downworld Cabinet is adjourned," Isabelle Lightwood said firmly, closing the small leather black folder that was in front of her.

Maia sighed a little, and turned her head around slightly, shifting to stretch her neck.

The Downworld Cabinets were maybe one of the things she liked the least about being Alpha. She was much more into the moments where she could be with her people, her pack, dealing with every day problem, and leading them.

But diplomacy was important, and she wouldn’t let the pack’s relationship with the Clave wither because she didn’t really like attending the meetings.

The Cabinet had changed since its beginning. Instead of Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Luke Garroway, Meliorn and Raphael Santiago, the people that were now standing up from their seats and gathering their things, chatting lightly or staying silent, were Isabelle Lightwood, Lorenzo Rey, Maia herself, a Seelie named Isherai, and Lily Chen.

Maia liked the new line-up. She wasn’t a fan of Lorenzo Rey, and Isabelle and her were... working? Maia wasn’t really friends with her and she guessed she wouldn’t ever be.

She licked her lips and grabbed her files, putting them in her bag and walking out of the meeting room.

Her latest meet-up with Simon, where he had apologized, had made her think about her life and what she had to do. And it had made her think that she’d never apologized to Clary about almost killing her.

For long, she’d thought that she had nothing to apologize for. She had made the decision she’d thought best for her pack, and that was it, nothing else. Now that she was Alpha though, she understood that it was a little more complicated than that.

Yes, she’d maybe had it right when it came to protecting her Pack, but murdering someone because they might cause a threat wasn’t the right thing to do, in any situation.

Maia stopped one of the Shadowhunters that were walking through the corridors to ask where Clary was. They answered she was in the war room, with a weird tone and a disdainful expression. Anti-werewolf sentiment didn’t disappear that easily.

She found the red-haired woman standing next to a prep station, going over some stuff written on the table in front of her. Her hair was held back, and she wore the typical Shadowhunter gear.

"Hey, Clary," Maia said, and she turned to her.

"Maia," Clary smiled and nodded. "Long time."

"Definitely."

She’d seen her last when Clary had taken her trainees on a visit to Taki’s, both for food, and to get them used to being around Downworlders.

"I just finished the Cabinet meeting," Maia pointed out. "And I was thinking, about everything that happened two years ago, lately."

She couldn’t really believe it had already been two years. Things were changing at a lightning fast pace. Everything always went very fast in the Shadow World.

"Of course," Clary smiled. "What about, specifically?"

"About the day where I tried to kill you."

Clary looked a bit surprised, and nodded, crossing her arms. "I... Yes. I remember that."

Maia nodded, biting her lip for a second. "I’m sorry. For trying to kill you. I was misguided and I thought I was doing what was right for the pack."

"I get why you did it."

"Whether I was right or not, about how it could protect my people, it doesn’t... You were innocent. I shouldn’t have even thought of killing you for crimes you might commit. Not when you hadn’t done anything yet, and not when you had been on our side at times before."

Clary swallowed. "It was... We all thought I was going to kill everyone, whether intentionally or not. It’s not your fault."

"Please, let me apologize to you," Maia rolled her eyes.

Clary had a small chuckle. "Alright then. Thank you, for apologizing."

Maia looked at her with a nod. "I’m glad I didn’t succeed. You’re doing great things, and you’re a good friend to Simon."

Clary nodded. "I want to be a good friend to you too, Maia. For too long, we have let Simon be the link between us, but I think it’s time we build something else."

Maia chuckled. "Well, I’m up for it, especially if that means you’ll hire Taki’s to cater yours and Jace’s wedding."

Clary grinned and nodded. "Sold."


	3. Clary - I'll Forgive You Soon Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary keeps the chain going and visits the Loss-Rollins'.

The doorbell’s ring resounded in the apartment behind the door. It felt strange for Clary to be there, standing in the strange and empty corridor, of a building she didn’t know.

She’d never really known where Dot lived, even before the Shadow World, when she still thought of Dot as a big sister. She was ashamed of that. Of having called her that, and having done so little to protect her.

That was why she was standing there that day.

Maia’s apology had been unexpected, but welcome. Clary had then chatted with Simon and Jace about it, and Simon had explained where it’d come from. Atoning for the wrongs you’ve done to people was a beautiful thing, and Clary had a lot to atone for. Starting with Dot.

They hadn’t seen each other in months. Clary knew why, but she still felt strange knowing that it was all her fault. Dot was uncomfortable with her around. Had she always felt that way? Had she been comfortable only because she knew Clary was untrained and wouldn’t harm her? Had Dot and Jocelyn really been friends, or had it been just a transaction?

Clary wanted answers, but she knew she wouldn’t get them today, and that she shouldn’t ask for them until she’d apologized and worked her way back into a good relationship with Dot.

Footsteps resounded behind the door and the lock turned. It opened on Dot’s raised eyebrows and surprised expression.

"Clary," she said softly. "That’s unexpected."

"Hey, Dot," Clary replied, smiling a little, trying not to appear as nervous as she was. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Dot replied. "But be careful, Madzie’s sleeping."

Clary nodded, and stepped in. Dot closed the door behind her. From the hallway only, she could tell this was the cozy home of young parents. Dot led her towards the living room and let her sit on the couch.

"Do you want something to drink or eat? We have coffee, tea, lemonade..."

"Lemonade’s perfect, thank you."

Dot walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass, filled it with lemonade and brought it back, giving it to Clary. "So. What brings you here to me?"

Clary swallowed. "It’s been a while. I was thinking maybe we should talk."

She saw the other woman straighten slightly, and noticed that she actually hadn’t been relaxed at all.

"I’m unarmed."

Dot raised an eyebrow. "I’m not afraid of you."

Clary swallowed again, and took a big sip of her lemonade. She was already screwing this up. She put the glass down again and shook her head.

"I’m sorry. I’m doing everything wrong. I just want to apologize to you, for everything..."

Dot sighed a little. "It’s fine, Clary."

"It’s not. You’re all tense. And it’s all my fault. When Mom disappeared and everybody thought you were dead, I just gave up on you, when I should have been fighting for you."

Dot chuckled. "Not everybody thought that. Magnus and Catarina didn’t. Magnus might have told you he thought I was, to keep you away from me, but he was searching for me."

Clary opened her mouth and closed it again. That did sound like Magnus. Magnus protected his people. And when they’d met at Hardtail that day, when he’d told her Dot was gone, he’d had no reason to trust her with any real information.

"I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder."

"I’m not mad at you for that," Dot replied. "You were a child searching for your mother. In a world you didn’t understand. You had no way of knowing if I was alive or dead. What hurt me though, was when you didn’t even try to find out if I had survived Jonathan."

Clary noticed the way Dot was holding her own arm, pulling at the sleeves of her shirt to cover up something. She guessed there were scars.

She’d learned months after that Dot was actually still alive, and that she had been kept in bed for months, resting and healing slowly from the horrible burns she’d suffered from Jonathan.

"You’re right. I didn’t. I didn’t even mourn you properly."

Dot watched her. "I thought then... that I had failed you. Because I thought I had managed to help you grow away from your mother’s Clave influence and towards the Shadow World, just like Luke. And then you didn’t even... care. I actually waited for you to visit me, when I was alone here all day, while Cat was at work, and Madzie with her nanny."

Clary could feel tears in her eyes, coming over her. She couldn’t even stop them. She couldn’t stop herself from crying as the woman she’d betrayed after years of being close watched her.

"I’m so sorry, I don’t know how I can make it better."

Dot sighed. "You can make sure you never treat someone like that again, especially not someone who sacrifices themselves for you."

Clary nodded. "I promise I won’t."

Dot looked at her, and there was a bit of tenderness in her eyes, behind the anger and the pain. "Good. And keep on apologizing. I’ll forgive you soon enough."

Clary looked down at her hands. She apologized again, the first of a thousands more apologies.

She didn’t finish the lemonade.


End file.
